How to say sorry in Vietnamese: "xin lỗi" and when to use it

The Vietnamese word for sorry is xin lỗi (roughly "sin loy"). It covers both "I'm sorry" and "excuse me," so you'll use it to apologize, to get someone's attention and to squeeze past people in a crowd.

Like most Vietnamese phrases, it gets warmer and more natural when you add a pronoun. Here's how to use it in different situations.

What does xin lỗi literally mean?

• xin: to ask, request or beg, also a politeness marker
• lỗi: a fault, mistake or error

So xin lỗi is literally "I ask about my fault," or "please excuse my mistake."

Pronunciation: xin sounds like "sin," with a level tone; in Vietnamese, the letter "x" is pronounced like an "s." Lỗi has the ngã tone, rising with a little break, like "loy" with a catch in the middle. In the South, it often sounds more like a dipping tone, since many Southern speakers merge the ngã and hỏi tones.

Saying sorry: add a pronoun

Adding the right pronoun makes the apology personal:

• Xin lỗi anh. Sorry (to an older man or male peer).
• Xin lỗi chị. Sorry (to an older woman).
• Xin lỗi em. Sorry (to someone younger).
• Xin lỗi bạn. Sorry (to a friend or peer).

To make it fuller, put yourself in front: Tôi xin lỗi (I'm sorry), Em xin lỗi anh (I'm sorry, said to an older man).

Apologizing to elders

With elders, use the right self-pronoun and add ạ at the end:

• Con xin lỗi mẹ ạ. I'm sorry, Mom.
• Cháu xin lỗi bác ạ. I'm sorry (to someone older than your parents).
• Em xin lỗi cô ạ. I'm sorry, teacher (to a female teacher).

This is how Vietnamese children are taught to apologize, and it sounds sincere and respectful.

Making it stronger

• Xin lỗi nhiều. I'm very sorry.
• Thành thật xin lỗi. I sincerely apologize. Formal and serious.
• Rất xin lỗi. I'm very sorry. Common in customer service.
• Mình xin lỗi nha. I'm sorry, okay? Soft and friendly between friends.

Xin lỗi as "excuse me"

You'll use xin lỗi to get attention politely or to start a question:

• Xin lỗi, cho tôi hỏi... Excuse me, may I ask... A polite way to ask a stranger for directions or information.
• Xin lỗi, cho tôi qua. Excuse me, let me through.

Many people also simply say cho tôi hỏi ("let me ask") on its own. In a restaurant, people often get staff's attention with "Em ơi!" for a young server, or "Anh ơi!" / "Chị ơi!" for older staff, rather than xin lỗi.

When is "sorry" not xin lỗi?

English uses "sorry" for sympathy as well as apologies. Vietnamese has separate phrases for those:

• Tiếc quá. That's a shame. What a pity.
• Rất tiếc. I'm very sorry to hear that. Often used for bad news, like a canceled event.
• Xin chia buồn. My condolences. Used when someone has died.

Saying "xin lỗi" when someone tells you sad news can sound like you caused the problem, so pick the right phrase.

How do you respond to an apology?

• Không sao. It's okay.
• Không sao đâu. It's totally fine. Reassuring and warm.
• Không có gì. It's nothing.
• Dạ, không sao ạ. It's fine (politely, to an elder).

For a full guide, see không sao đâu: how to say it's okay.

Apologies and saving face

In Vietnamese culture, apologies are often about keeping relationships smooth. People may apologize for small things, like bothering you or arriving a little late, as a courtesy. For bigger mistakes, actions, such as making things right, can matter as much as words. Raising your voice or blaming someone in public can make an apology harder, so a calm, private conversation usually works better.

Writing xin lỗi

In messages, you might see it without diacritics as "xin loi." Some young people shorten it in casual texting, but using the full phrase is always safest.

Quick guide

• Apology: Xin lỗi anh/chị/em
• To elders: Cháu xin lỗi bác ạ
• Strong: Thành thật xin lỗi
• Excuse me: Xin lỗi, cho tôi hỏi...
• Sympathy: Rất tiếc or Xin chia buồn

For the other polite essential, read how to say thank you in Vietnamese.

Practice "Xin lỗi, cho tôi hỏi..." until it flows, because it's the opener you'll use most whenever you need to ask a stranger for help.